genderkoolaid:
the amount of people who have said something like “id rather be called a faggot than queer” makes it clear its not actually about “reclaiming a slur” its about queer being cringey and associated with weirdos who have opinions like “bi lesbians are cool and literally always have been” and “exclusionism is a traumatizing waste of time psyop”
@lmaoidkwhatnametochoose
Bi lesbians are simply anyone who finds both the label “bi” and “lesbian” to be useful to describe themselves.
One person may use it to describe being attracted to both women and other genders, but centering their relationships/identity around women. Another may use it to describe being in a relationship with a man, even though their sexuality is otherwise exclusively geared towards other women. Someone else may use it to describe both being a woman who loves other women and also someone who loves multiple genders, because both are equally important to them. And yet another may have romantic attraction to women but sexual attraction to women & other genders (and yes, people can feel that way without it being internalized lesbophobia.)
The idea that “bisexual” (or other mspec sexualities) is the only sexual label that allows for nuance is recent. “Lesbian” has always been inclusive of both women who aren’t exclusively attracted to other women, and people whose relationship with gender is more complicated than “assigned-female woman.” Part of this has been, of course, the lack of knowledge or community for bisexuals and trans* people. But even after these communities formed, people still willingly identified with lesbianism because why shouldn’t they? For many it had been a home where they had found community, for many it is still a fundamental part of how they understand themselves and relate to others.
Personally, I consider myself a “bi lesbian” (although its not usually the label I choose when talking to strangers, and its certainly not the only label) because I am multigender. I am attracted to multiple genders; when I am attracted to women, it is also very much in a queer way (and I personally enjoy the “queer attraction to women” definition of lesbianism), and I also found my home in lesbianism & butchhood before anything else. I could call myself “just bi” or “just lesbian,” but that would fail to paint a whole picture of my relationship with sexuality.
(also, not that a label needs to be historical to be valid, but “bi lesbian” is a old term. its been around for ages. and the rejection of this label cannot be disconnected from radical feminists- the same ones who said that transfems were invaders and transmascs were traitors).
Labels are not about (or shouldn’t be about) fitting a definition. The definition of a label is an attempt to capture the vast beauty of a label into a sentence or two so it can be explained to people who don’t understand it, and it will always fail in some regard. A famous sex-positive activist identified as a straight bisexual lesbian to fuck with identity on purpose; the world of identity is has always been a lot more interesting than exclusionist assholes on tumblr would have you believe.
Some people will also argue that bi lesbians promote the stereotypes that “all lesbians are really bisexual” or “bisexuality is a phase.” I have absolutely no tolerance for this. This logic would mean that women who identify as lesbians before realizing they are attracted to men should stay in the closet, since they “promote” the idea that women who aren’t attracted to men can be changed. By this logic, polyamorous bisexuals should force themselves to be monogamous, because they “promote” the idea that real bisexuals need to have relationships with men and women, and aroallo bisexuals must have romantic relationships because we “promote” the idea that bisexuals are all vain sluts who can’t commit. Suggesting that queer people are morally responsible for defying stereotypes can never be anything but queerphobic. Lesbophobic straight men do not need an excuse to harass lesbians.
